Over five months had
passed since my last trip overseas and the time had arrived again for me to
travel to Europe. The preceding months before the New Year had been crazy
hectic and packed with wedding preparations for my brother. I had volunteered
to become the “unofficial” wedding planner and took care of items ranging from
decorations for the wedding hall and flowers to corsages and boutonnieres and
dress materials for the bride, bridesmaid and the flower girls among many
others. So, five months drifted by since my last visit to central Europe in the
summer of 2013, and over a month since Andrej visited India to attend my
brother’s wedding. The waiting period from December 15, (the day Andrej left
India for Slovenia) to January 29, 2014, the date of our next planned meeting
in Slovenia seemed much longer and more arduous of a wait than the months
between August and December’13. We attributed this level of impatience and barely controllable excitement to the amount of fun and frolic we had during his maiden trip to
Manipur, my home state. It was as if we felt a sense of urgency to repeat all
of those lovely moments in another time and place, sooner than later. And good
thing we had all of this planned out from way back, as if we knew what was
coming: planning ranged from booking plane tickets to letting my parents know
about our intentions to spend some quality time together in Europe, in other
words, seeking their approval. This time, Andrej offered to pay for half of the
ticket price and also take care of almost all other expenses that we would have
to incur on our holidays in the weeks following my trip to Slovenia. This
meant, he would pay for 80% of the trip. Yes, he is a generous fellow and I’m
fortunate to be the woman he wants to spend his hard-earned money on!*wink*
This was a breather from getting diamond jewelry or being impressed by dinner
at fancy and slick restaurants on skyscrapers. I remember fondly that it was on
my birthday in the month of November that he “surprised” me with confirmed
multi-way tickets from New Delhi to Vienna, Ljubljana-Istanbul, and Istanbul to
Male! I’m not used to having a man pay for my expenses, it makes me highly
uncomfortable simply because I have too much pride and also because I don’t
want to undertake a holiday I can’t afford at the moment. But Andrej tried and
made me see the bigger picture and told me to quit worrying about the
expenditure for us. He wasn’t doing this for him, or for me but for us and for
the future we plan on living and sharing together some day. Now, he’s a
non-emotional character and when I hear him say such things, it takes me a long
while to grasp his words and believe in them. He knows this too very well, I
think he got used to my doubting ways because they necessarily aren’t
deterrence to what we already have between us. We started our relationship with
one intention- that we were the right persons for each other and that we would
always stay together no matter how tough the going got, long distance and what
have you. We wouldn't have wanted to start anything without a decision to take
it so seriously, we were on the same page. Long distance relationships are not
for the weak-hearted and we knew from the get go the effort and responsibility
it required from us both.
The tickets, the visa
and all the needful documents were taken care of in advance but we had yet to
take care of the most pressing and important issue- my father’s approval.
Hailing from a more reserved and conservative cultural background can have its
downside and the most challenging task for us was and have been the amount of
effort we both put into convincing my over-protective and highly pensive father
that we are adults and know what we are getting ourselves into. Our intention
was not only to get to know each other better on an even more personal level
but to also utilize our holidays judiciously with me learning Math (the area of
study I need serious help in) from Andrej who is incredibly gifted in the
subject. Now, we were aware that this could potentially sound off like a
massive excuse to make our desire to spend time together in Andrej’s home for a
month appear more valid in the eyes of my father, we went ahead and Andrej
wrote a letter to my father explaining in detail whatever we felt he needed to
know. After a series of explanations and assurances, my father finally came
around, wished me luck and safe travels. And thus, there I was on the roll
again… packing my bags to see Andrej again and to explore with him, new
exciting countries across the globe. Vienna was to be my first port of entry
and Andrej was to come to the city for a pole vault competition a few days
after my arrival. We would drive back to Ljubljana together after the event.
Vienna
I arrived in Vienna on
Jan 25 and two of my friends, Harry and his girlfriend Lucy received me at the
Schwechat airport. Harry is one of my most trusted and valued friends since my
college days in the US and I had met his girlfriend Lucy for the first time in
Salzburg, Austria during my central Europe trip with Andrej last summer. For
the past couple of months, Lucy and I have been exchanging personal emails with
each other. I never expected us to become close in such a short amount of time.
Initially, our conversations were formal and cordial but soon after we started
sharing about our lives, our past experiences, our hopes and dreams,
relationship issues et al. We offered advice and “tips” to each other as and
when we felt the need. Lucy had agreed to host me at her apartment during my
short stay in the city. I was glad I did not have to stay alone in a hotel. I
was growing very excited to not only see one of my best friends Harry but also
to get to spend time with Lucy after having grown so fond of her and developing
a level of comfort and confidence in her. And it’s all thanks to our
lengthy email conversations which I often had to share with Andrej as he was
always curious to see what I had written to Lucy. Of course this made me
uncomfortable at first because the emails were meant to be private and shared
between Lucy and me. I gradually got used to the fact that my guy was
more curious than a cat. Andrej and I tend to not hide stuff from each other so
I figured it wasn’t such a big deal, after all. The only difference was that I
was writing to a woman friend and when I do that, somehow I tend to be so aware
of my “audience” that often I put on a different persona…I guess it’s a woman
thing. That was the only thing that worried me a bit and I wasn’t sure whether
Andrej was going to be able to understand some “emotional” and sentimental
parts of the letters.
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| With Lucy :) |
Harry and Lucy are one
of the sweetest couples I know and to be friends with the both of them had made
me pretty excited to go to Vienna again even though I had more or less
associated the city with a pile of shit because of several bad memories from
the past. Lucy made me feel right at home in her cute and cozy apartment. Harry
too decided to stay with us over the weekend. Lucy has an awfully hectic work
schedule so we weren’t able to go out of the house much. Besides, the weather
was turning for the worse as it began to snow a day after my arrival and the
temperatures dropped drastically. I realized that it has been almost four years
since I last had the pleasure of looking at snow fall. That was in New York
City and the roofs of the homes being blanketed by a glorious white cover and
ice skating and walking around in Central Park felt like forever ago. The view
from the window brought back so many warm and wonderful memories from my time
in America; it made me realize also how much I miss that kind of life and the
people that were a part of it. Because of the cold weather, we decided to stay
in, enjoyed beers and pizzas and watched TV. We thought of going for a movie
but could not zero in any one with English subtitles (since most movies are in
German)Lucy and I were hoping that we would enjoy an all-girls’ night in but
since Harry crashed for the weekend, we did not get to talk much in person. She
also seemed stressed out from her job and from the arguments she would get into
with Harry very often. I tried to ignore their personal spats as much as I
could by talking to Andrej and browsing the internet. It made me feel awful to
be witness to such moments and I told them politely that I would not hold anything
against them and that I was sorry for being present at such a bad time. They of
course apologized to me for stressing me out with their fights and squabbles.
Lucy had to go to work on Monday and I got to spend some time with Harry and
catch up on our lives. I obviously asked if something was the matter and why
they were arguing with each other so much. Andrej and I too fight a lot but
this was something else. It was so tensed and the apartment reeked of negative
energy. Harry suggested that we breathe some fresh air in so we decided to go
to St. Stephen’s square to eat and to indulge in some retail therapy. Whatever
the problem was, it didn’t seem beyond fixing and repair. I advised Harry to be
more patient with Lucy since she is a very sensitive person and that fights and
arguments were all a part of a couple’s life and that no relationship was
perfect. But having said this, I already got to see how he was towards Lucy,
very patient, kind, calm and polite. Even when Lucy raised her voice, he kept
his cool and never said anything mean back to her. I got to see what a gem of a
person Harry really is and told Lucy she ought to acknowledge and appreciate
this about him. Not many men can keep up with an angry woman and show the level
of sensitivity and thoughtfulness that Harry provides for Lucy. She told me
she’s very aware of this and he was the best man she had ever met. Well then,
why do they fight so much was something beyond my understanding? I don’t know,
maybe we women want too much, expect too much from our partners, and crave for
the things that they can never offer to us…maybe? And one of the most awful
things we can do is to let our bad experiences from the past have a bearing on
the present. I suppose it’s human nature but I warned Lucy that she needed to
take it easy and not stress out on things from the past so much especially when
her guy has told her a million times that he would never hurt her and also done
everything in his power to make her feel loved and secure. Aside these
unfavorable moments, I enjoyed my time with the two and do not regret anything.
You observe other couples and you learn from them. Sometimes you see a
reflection of yourself and you realize where you need to improve. But you also
see the things you’re missing out on and if you could also enjoy such things-
but by the end of the day, I was just waiting on Andrej and counting the hours
till I saw him again.
Lucy had left for work
and Harry had to go back to Klagenfurt so I was left alone in the apartment,
waiting for Andrej to arrive. He reached around noon time and was I glad to see
him again? I was happy beyond words. He looked as handsome as ever and I wanted
to hug the life out of him. I could tell how much we missed each other even
though we don't dare admit that to each other, usually. I could tell he was
obviously happy to see me again too, he needn’t tell me in words. There were so
many thoughts running through my head at that point, so many things I wanted to
say but I decided to just dwell in the moment and enjoy his company again after
a month which had felt like a year of being apart. I made him stake for lunch
and we also finished some leftover food from the previous night’s dinner. We
had a few hours to ourselves before the competition so we hung out for a while
and he also managed to catch up on his office work/ attend an online meeting.
I looked at him and imagined how it would be like to live in the same
house with this fellow and felt like there wouldn’t be much of a difference
since we enjoy the company of each other, with spats or without. After a few
hours, we drove to the indoor stadium where he was going to compete. There was
hardly any people at the venue and I sat alone in the benches while Andrej went
to warm up. I took a book with me so I wouldn’t get bored but through the
course of the event I barely got to read anything because I got distracted by
the numerous competitions happening inside the stadium at the same time. This
was my first experience of watching him compete outside of Slovenia and inside
a stadium so I felt pretty excited. Andrej opined that he wasn’t prepared and
in the required form to compete, I asked him to give his best anyway. Because
of his trip to India in December and the many days without hard training, he
felt he was not up to the mark. Earlier, I knew nothing about the nuances of
pole vault, the rules, the scoring, nothing. Now, I could at least tell what
was up and that a vaulter is given three attempts to clear a height. I had a
renewed respect for the game. Every time Andrej did not make a jump, I clasped
my hands, held them to my mouth and gasped. I would clap in excitement as and
when he jumped over the bar. I quickly realized my apparent excitement and felt
a bit embarrassed because I’ve never cheered him on like that before. Andrej
did not win the gold but he was happy with his performance nonetheless. After
the competition, we drove back to Ljubljana. When we reached his home, it was
after midnight or so and his parents who were otherwise waiting for our arrival
had gone to bed. Andrej carried my luggage into the guest room and I went to
sleep soon after.
Feeling SLOVENIA (for the
second time)
.jpg) |
| Winter Wonderland |
First morning in
Ljubljana and I didn’t really know what to think. Of course I was in a happy
frame of mind but I also remembered it was going to be a long holiday and it
was going to be successful and beneficial as I had hoped. I had told
Andrej I would try and wake up at 8 am so I could say goodbye to him before he
left for office. I had a good night’s sleep and there was no sign of jet lag
still. His mom was in the kitchen and looked very happy to see me again. I too
was elated to see her and hugged her. She immediately made me feel so at home
and offered me the coffee that I usually liked to drink when I was there at
their place last summer. I told her sheepishly that I hope she would be able to
tolerate my presence in their home for almost a month. She told me I was more
than welcome being the awesome host that she is. Andrej joined me at the table
and he looked like a fifth grader getting ready for school. I could never help
but laugh in his face whenever I saw him. He always looks so silly but adorable
in his oversized and almost shapeless nightwear- a grey, full-sleeve cotton
shirt and calf-length shorts. I told him he resembled a convict that had just
escaped from his prison cell. He left for work soon after and I was at home
alone with his mom. I didn’t want to start with my studies immediately so I
spent the whole afternoon talking to his mom and keeping her updated on my life
and what’s been up in India. She was very much aware that I needed to study and
asked me to not worry about anything. I told her I would not be able to study
all day long and that I would be more than happy to lend a helping hand with
household chores. But she would never let me do anything and insisted that I
just focus on my books.
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| Snow covered main road leading to Andrej's street |
The area in which the
Poljanec family lives is very quiet and peaceful, in the foothills of Smartna
Gora. Their home is located on the outskirts of Ljubljana city proper but only
takes about 15 minutes to go to downtown by car. Their home is a cozy abode for
the four members of the family and the small but well-maintained backyard with
an artificial koi-like pond added charm to the overall look of the house.
There’s a plastic table and four chairs in the backyard patio. I looked at them
and it reminded me of last summer and the night Andrej and I sat around the
table with his parents to celebrate with wine and cheese his win at the
Slovenian national championships in pole vault. I could hardly believe I was in
Slovenia again just after five months, I felt extremely fortunate. I mean, not
everyone gets to travel like that as per their wish and get to spend nearly a
month with their loved ones who lives nearly 7000 miles away. It took a me
while to get used to the pace of life in Lj. Life is more at ease it seemed to
me and the peace and quite so different from the noise and pollution of New
Delhi that I’m accustomed to. I would sit in my room and listen intently for
any noise from the neighborhood- all I heard was the sound of a car engine
passing by once or twice and the faint barking of the neighbor’s dog. It was
the perfect setting for indulging in some serious reading and studying, so I
thought. However, I personally enjoyed spending time in the kitchen with
Andrej’s mom and talking to her more than going through my Indian Polity and
ancient Indian history notes. We enjoyed our lunch hours every day since we
were the only ones at home while all the male members of the family went to
work. The afternoons were also a lot of fun as Andrej’s mom would indulge in hours
of baking and I would look in awe at how precise and particular she was with
her recipes. She had a neatly maintained recipe book and handled it with so
much care; the sign of a true chef! She did all the household chores from
laundry to cleaning and cooking for her family. She often joked that she was a
“maid,” I corrected her and told her she was one of the most competent
“homemakers” that I have come across.
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| My favorite Slovenian dessert, Kremsita, made by Andrej's Mom |
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| Another traditional cake, 'Potica' preparedby Mrs. Poljanec |
Andrej worked from 9-5
during the weekdays and trained after office hours so he usually came back home
at dinner time, which was usually around 7:30-8:00 pm. He would be so exhausted
by the time he came home that I felt bad that I had to tire him more by making
him teach me Math. I also noticed that the Poljanecs did not eat their meals at
regular intervals like we do back home in India- breakfast, two square meals-
lunch and dinner, and evening tea. Andrej’s mom eats lunch but skips her dinner
every night; Andrej, his dad and brother usually ate lunch at work and dinner
was usually served with light food/snacks. Last summer, it took me quite a
while to get used to the “bland” Slovenian food but this time around, I was
completely fine with trying out the local cuisine. In fact, I took and even
enjoyed every home-cooked meal that Andrej’s mom prepared for me. But I have to
say her forte lies in creating the most delightful cakes and cookies. I noted
down some of her recipes so I can try them out at some point. She was
absolutely in shock to hear me say that not everyone in India owns an oven, let
alone use them. I can never forget the utter look of disbelief on her face! I
suppose being the avid baker that she is; this information seemed too hard to
take. This made me laugh hard as I explained to her that preparing Indian
sweets don’t usually require oven but pots and pans instead. The afternoons
with Mrs. Poljanec were never dull. We got along so fabulously that often times
I forgot she could be my mother in law one day...I saw her more as a friend
than any of that figure. She had such high opinions about me and even when I
told her the kind of things Andrej has to put up with not so nice things about
me such as my temper that can go out of control and my demanding ways, she was
almost impossible to convince. It felt good to know she had such decent
opinions about me. She was also instrumental in teaching me some basic Math and
solving sums with me from one of Andrej’s middle school books which were
printed in Slovenian. It was almost crazy for a Math illiterate to be learning
Math from a school book written in a language I did not understand but Andrej’s
mom put me at ease and provided translations wherever needed. She had a
Slovenian to English dictionary and used it every time she needed to find the
correct word in English. It looked like we were both benefiting a lot from
spending time with each other, she taught me Math and I helped her improve her
English. She was so patient with me, unlike Andrej who is also a good
instructor but a lot less patient than his mom and gets irritated if I don’t pay
attention to what he’s saying even for just a second. I would tell him that
he’s too attractive of a teacher for me to be able to take him seriously as a
tutor. Mrs. Poljanec and I also went to the malls quite a few times and I
enjoyed browsing through all the sale racks with her, she was so easy to get
along with that I never hesitated to let her know if I saw something on the
window and wanted to go in and check it out. The only issue was that I
exchanged only about a hundred euros at the airport in Delhi since Andrej told
me I could change the rest of my Indian rupees when I got to Ljubljana.
However, we found out that no banks or currency exchange places took Indian
rupees. So I had to reluctantly borrow some money from Andrej and promised him
that I’d pay him back when he came to India. He defined it as an “allowance”
for me. I told him to knock it off and label it as an allowance if and when I
became his wife!
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| The River Sava |
The weather was about 2
degrees C when I got to Ljubljana. Andrej had been telling me all along that
snow had left town so I was under the impression that the snowfall that I
witnessed in Vienna was about it. But it started snowing a few days after my
arrival. The sight was splendid! It looked like a winter wonderland to me. I
was so excited that I got ready and stepped out in the snowfall to take
pictures of Andrej’s street and the beautiful river Sava flowing by. People in
cars passing by looked at me with curiosity, some smiled, some simply stared- I
must have looked like a complete nut of a tourist out in the snowfall taking
pictures. Slovenia is a tiny country and not as cosmopolitan as other European
cities. One hardly gets to see an Asian or a colored person there. I noticed
that everywhere I went, Slovenes loved to stare at me. I wasn’t offended, I
figured why they would. They don’t usually get many tourists or outsiders
around their town! But the good thing about Slovenia is that even though people
don’t use English in their daily lives, at least they know some and shopkeepers
knew enough English to communicate with a non-Slovene. Ljubljana is a small
city but the malls are pretty great and much better than the ones we have in
New Delhi. I was tempted to splurge on clothes and shoes every time I went out
but I had to remind myself that I was on a tight budget and Andrej wouldn’t
appreciate me making unnecessary expenditures before our real vacation began.
So I controlled my urge to shop as much as I could so I didn’t have to hear him
ask me all the time, “Did you spend? How much did you spend?” I thought it was
funny, more than anything. This behavior of his got me wondering how we would
be like as a married couple, it didn’t worry me. One of the things I admire
about Andrej is his simplicity and ability to live simply and to be content
with whatever he has. Finance and money matters are not really our priority.
Andrej and I don’t love money and are not at all impressed with riches and it’s
great to know that we are both on the same page about his. However, I also know
money can build bridges and make life a lot easier. And especially with the
distance we are trying to cover every time, it would be impossible to meet up
so often unless at least one of us worked and earned a steady salary.
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| Crazy Slovenian dude I ran into in downtown Ljubljana :D |
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| Flowers in the market |
It was such a good
feeling to be living in the same house, under the same roof, doing stuff
together whenever he was home, watching movies and tv shows, going out to grab
pizzas, learning Math and not having to worry anymore about the time
difference. Andrej would be so exhausted by the time he got home every evening
that for the most part I studied Math with his mom during the day and at night,
we just watched movies together. All these times, I only saw him and got to
spend time with him outside of Slovenia, checking into different hotels in
various countries as tourists. Now, it was like getting to see him as he is in
his home, it was like getting to live with the real, everyday Andrej. I got to
learn that he is lazy at home and lets his mom do almost everything for him
still. His room looks like a hurricane just struck. He wouldn’t even let me
clean up the dust and cobwebs hanging down from the ceiling. It wasn’t that bad
but sometimes I wanted to reorganize all the books lying on the floor and the
loose sheets of paper and receipts scattered cross his desk. He told me he
liked it that way, the messiness made him feel at home…maybe yes but I warned
him that if he ever lived with me, there will be no room for dusts and wastes
and smelly socks strewn around our bedroom! I understood that with his hectic
schedule, he wouldn’t really have the extra time and energy to be spring
cleaning his room but one couldn’t deny that his room could use a serious
de-clustering. I also got to learn about his infamous training socks. One day,
he excitedly came over to my room and placed his soiled socks to my nose; I was
utterly disturbed but found the whole episode to be amusing as hell! He blames
his long training hours for causing the pungent smell to his socks, while I
tell him his feet must be naturally smelly. Believe me, for a person that has a
super heightened sense of smell and who is endowed with an incredible gift for
olfaction, this memory is bound to linger on for a lifetime. It is crazy how we
got so comfortable with each other in such a short period of time, considering
we are in a long distance relationship, started half a year ago and got to see
each other only twice before now. I never imagined putting up with such things
with my guy, with Andrej, no matter how grossed out I may be with some of his
habits, I am able to play down anything and take him as he comes..smelly or
not. Things that I were so particular about with others before are now
secondary and don’t bother me much. My pet peeves and all of that, with Andrej,
they take a back seat. We have grown so comfortable with each other that we can
even talk about our most unappetizing habits-- from the habits of taking a dump
or lack of it thereof to forgetting to brush his teeth so often and not
smelling too fresh every now and then. We talk about it and we have a good
laugh between ourselves. In this manner, we are not your conventional couples,
we can act silly and weird in our own ways and no matter how different we may
be personality wise, we click together amazingly on so many levels.
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| Andrej & I with his Aunts & grandparents |
This trip to Slovenia
was also important because not only did I get to spend quality time with Andrej
but I also got to know his parents a lot better and they got to know more about
me. One of the most memorable moments was getting to meet his grandparents; I'm
not sure if he has ever taken a girl to them before because the grandpa is
about 92, grandma 90...they're really old and do not like to be disturbed by
visitors. His grandfather is known to be a strict and reclusive man so I was
surprised when Andrej told me we were going to see his grandparents and aunts
that take care of them. I was a bit nervous but when we got there, they were
really excited to see me and his grandpa could not stop showing off his English
to me! He still had such a good memory that he could name every plant on the
mountains he had hiked during his younger years, the length of the world’s
famous rivers and the depths of many oceans and seas. He also gave me the
permission to see his library that stacked thousands of books and is usually
off-limits even to family members, let alone strangers. His grandma was almost
in tears when she saw me. I gave her a pink and grey Indian pashmina shawl and
she was beaming with joy when one of Andrej’s aunts wrapped it around her. We
had lunch together and his grandpa skipped his regular afternoon. He said he
was enjoying so much talking with me about India that he did not feel sleepy
anymore. I was so touched by this. What an adorable old man, nothing like the
image of him that Andrej had initially built in my mind-- the stern, uptight
Catholic professor. Later on, as kind of expected, we got to know that the old
folks are anticipating us to get married in the near future. I felt accepted
even by his extended family and they did not treat me with any sign of
condescension because I came from a different culture and race and follow the
Protestant faith as opposed to Catholicism. However, the issue was not with the
grandparents’ opinion about me, about us, but his parents’ take on our
“relationship status.”
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| Slovenian pizzas: hands down one of the best in the world! |
Andrej and I haven't
told his parents about our relationship but it seems they already knew what's going on
even without the need for our telling. His mom is a bit unassuming so I won't be
surprised if she is under the assumption that we are "just friends" even
after all these months. But a lot of times, she thanked me for "taking
care" of Andrej, for being "kind and understanding" and that he
has changed for the better, performs better in life/sport compared to how he
was before and she thinks I have a role to play. Andrej had told me about what
I meant to him before and how I helped him be at peace with himself. To hear
his Mom say similar things made me feel like I was doing something very right.
She also added that it was God's plan and wish that Andrej and I are
“together.” I realized at that point that as innocent as she may seem
outwardly, she wasn’t so naive to assume that we were only just friends. His
Dad is a more perceptive man and he surely knows what’s up between us. I told
Andrej we should tell his parents directly about where exactly we stand but he
brushed me off with- “I don’t speak about relationships to my parents.” I
didn’t know whether to be insulted by this, or, to respect his opinion because
in their culture, kids do not tell their parents about their personal lives and
do whatever they want on their own. They need only “inform” them as and when
they decide to get engaged or marry their “partners.” We got to spend alone
time with his folks the night before we left Ljubljana but we decided to not
initiate any conversation along those lines taking for granted that they
already know whatever they need to know about us. And speaking of “partners,”
one thing is for sure- Andrej’s parents as much as my own are totally against
live-in relationships and do not understand the concept of a man and woman
living together and having “illegitimate” children and calling their
boyfriend/girlfriend domestic partners. I too hold the same view even if they
aren’t as stringent as his or my parents’. And again, it took a while for me to
believe Andrej when he told me that he neither supports live-in relationships
nor undertake something like that ever in his life. He seems to respect
marriage in the traditional sense as much as I do, which is welcomed
wholeheartedly!
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| Neighborhood cat that came to lounge around in Andrej's backyard every afternoon :) |
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| With Andrej's super nice colleagues |
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| Andrej winning the Nationals (Indoor) |
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| Us with Klemen & his gf Andreja in Bratislava, Slovakia |
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| Andrej & I in Brastislava |
I also got to meet a few
people from Andrej’s athletic circle. His closest buddies are Klemen and Vrici
and Andrej had mentioned their names before so I was glad to meet them in
person, finally. They were easy to get along with and I got to hang out with
them for pizzas and beers a few times. I got them tea from India as that seemed
to be the safest bet to gift people whom you’re meeting for the first time and
don’t know much about. I also got to meet their significant others- Vrici’s
boyfriend Matija and Klemen’s girl, Andreja. They were friendly and nice to
talk to. Andrej and I also got the opportunity to travel to Bratislava,
Slovakia with Klemen and his girlfriend. We met them again for some drinks in
downtown Ljubljana before we left for Turkey. We also got to have some
pizzas with Vrici and her guy and later on got invited to the apartment they
share with their frisky cat. Vrici used to tell us how anti social her
boyfriend is that I was expecting to meet a completely stuck-up weirdo, but he
turned out to be a very nice and chilled out person. Andrej would tell me so
often that he has no friends in Ljubljana so I began to wonder what he blabbers
about because he actually does. Why he never admits to having a social circle,
albeit a small one is still a mystery to me. It was also a nice to meet the
young girls and kids that Andrej coaches in pole vault. An 11 year old, Anja,
was of particular interest to me as she seemed so bright for her years and
spoke very good English. This time, I got to watch Andrej compete in two
competitions- one at the stadium in which he trains every evening and the
other, National Championships in Celje. He won at both events so I was glad to
see him being rewarded properly for his training. Andrej would be so busy
carrying his poles around in his car and give ride to other athletes that I
felt I would be more comfortable traveling with his parents to watch him
compete so I did just that. The athletes would talk about sport stuff as
expected, share juicy gossips about other athletes and communicated only in
Slovenian with each other that I would get bored staring into space. I felt
this was the biggest disadvantage I had being in Slovenia- not being able to
speak or understand their language, and them barely using English.
Another memorable
incident was a visit from one of Andrej’s brother Uros’ friend, a differently
abled lady
by the name Ursa. Although, wheelchair bound, she came all the way
to meet “Andrej’s Indian girl.” She gifted me a little souvenir to remind me of
her and Slovenia- a pretty, little crocheted lace. I was so touched by this
gesture. Andrej’s father joked and said I must have some serious power of
attraction to be able to make everyone want to meet me. I told him the Slovenes
must be very curious to know there’s an Indian girl in Ljubljana, let alone Pot
Sodarjev! How often does that happen? Hardly, for sure.
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| Fresh veggies for sale |
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| Dinner at the Dilbung's |
Last but not least, there
was the Dilbung family- Ting, her husband Robert and their two precocious
children, Sarah and Raymond. Robert is a diplomat working at the Indian embassy
in Ljubljana and him and his wife are from Manipur. Ting and I had been
communicating on facebook about meeting up as and when I visited Slovenia again
because we didn’t get to meet each other the last time I visited. We were
thrilled to know we had Ljubljana in common other than hailing from the same
tribe. Ting came to visit Andrej’s home once and his mom made us the Mango tea
I had brought for her from India. The Dilbungs invited Andrej and I over dinner
one night and we all had a scrumptious home-cooked tribal meal prepared by
Robert. Robert also helped Andrej acquire a multi-entry, year long Indian visa.
He was a very humble, down to earth and simple person and told me to contact
him if I needed assistance with visas in the future. When Andrej’s mom and I
went to the Indian embassy to apply on behalf of Andrej, he warmly welcomed us
into his office and offered us tea. It felt so amazing to know there was a
Manipuri family in Slovenia and they lived just 5 minutes away from the
Poljanecs. We were able visit each other conveniently.
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| The frozen pond in the Poljanecs' backyard |
My time in Slovenia was
also marked by a series of snow storms and sleet causing nuisance to the
country. The situation worsened by the day- snowfall coupled with rain and
temperatures continuing to drop, the whole country was frozen and
infrastructure and traffic put to a halt. For the first time in Europe, I
experienced power cuts. Now, this is something I’m accustomed to coming for a
developing country with irregular electricity even in the capital city of New
Delhi, especially during the summers where day-time temperatures hover around
45 C; however, being without power in a place where temperatures stay below 0
can be a serious cause for concern, more so than surviving under extreme heat,
so I thought. Andrej’s mom could not even cook food as the stove in their house
runs on electricity. I realized how dependent their daily lives were on
electricity and modern amenities and how their “developed” world problems are
considerably different from the world I know. Luckily, power was restored the
very next day in our area. Andrej’s father, a thorough gentleman who opens doors
for you, takes your coat, brings you an umbrella all the way to the stadium
where Andrej trains because he didn’t want me to be drenched in the rain
etc.!)… but often prone to panic, was so concerned for my well-being that he
suggested to Andrej I should be checked into a hotel for the night where there
was heating. I assured him I was totally fine and power cuts were nothing new
for me.
There are so many
things, events, incidents etc that I would like to put down here but our
journal would
become way longer than it already is. I think the best part about
my time in Slovenia was being able to spend time with Andrej and getting to
“experience” him in his familiar surroundings- because to me it can’t get more
real than being with someone in their home turf/ the world and the people they
grew up in and live with. I’m very observant and there were many things I got
to discover more about him, about his family, his friends and his country. But
what mattered most was that we were able to spend time together, every day in
his home. I got to see many sides of him that I never knew existed, for
example, his tendency to sulk for days whenever we have an argument or a fight.
We are quite the sensitive characters but I never thought a person that puts on
a facade of detachment and nonchalance outwardly could be so soft and mushy
from the inside (although I admit his temper can’t match mine!). Funnily, I was
able to discuss this aspect of his personality with his mom and we both had a
good laugh. She told me it’s something he must have got from his father. This
seemed hard to believe because his Dad doesn’t look like the kind of person
that would stay mad for more than an hour, not at all! But, we were able to
handle ourselves pretty well no matter how annoyed we got with each other... we
always made up and moved on, that is, two-three days after Andrej came back to
being “normal” again! He would leave for work before 9 AM every morning and
would come and wake my sleepy self to have breakfast with him. It was all very
cute. I would wait and wait for the clock to strike 8 PM, the time around which
he came home, after training at the stadium. Even though it was very reassuring
to know that we needn’t worry about the time difference anymore, I missed him
when he was away during the day and I would be so happy to have him come home
to me in the evenings. He always cracks me up so whenever I looked at his face,
I couldn’t help but laugh. This must be a good thing because without humor, no
friendship or relationship is ever complete. We got to do so many things
together this time around as well and the holidays couldn’t have been any
better. No matter how hard it gets to not be able to see each other, everything
from the wait to the anxiety seems worth it all when we meet again and spend
time quality together. The night before we left for Turkey, Andrej and I went
to the movies with his parents. We watched “Pompeii” and wrapped up the evening
with the red wine Andrej and I had got from the French countryside on our
vacation last summer. And so my Slovenian sojourn came to a close.
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| After the snow storm.. |
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